Badass Socks. Yeah, Socks.

By Ned Hepburn on March 12th, 2009

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Yeah dude. Socks.

Socks. The greatest gift a man can buy himself. Especially after a crazy holiday season like this one. That’s right, socks. Holy baby Jesus. Do you not love them as much as I do? They are amazing. When I am having company over I tell them to take their shoes off when they enter – which I say is to make sure they don’t track dirt in – but really its just to revel in the sockness of the situation. Do you not like socks? Then the terrorists really have won.

And why go down that bullshit “12 pack of white ankle high sadness socks”? Live a little, man. You got this far, why not reward your damn feet as well as the viewing public? That’s right. You can have damn near anything you want on socks. Ladies will become visibly aroused the very second they lay their eyes on your bespoke ankle/lower calf.

Let me explain to you this website. Do you wear shoes? Yes. Well then by proxy you must wear socks unless you are from Miami in 1984. Here is where it gets interesting.

Do you like Eagles? BAM. They’re on a fucking sock.

Totally psyched to be an American? WHAM-O. Captain America socks on these motherfuckers.

Doing a lot of craaaaazy stuff in your socks? How about these? They’re non stick. Only badasses who don’t play by the rules wear non stick socks.

Hiding a bunch? Always getting tired of having people spot your ankle while you’re hiding because of your exposed soulless white sock because you can’t find camouflage socks? Well look no more.

The possibilities are endless. We have a new President, why not a pair of new socks? And socks are something you should invest in, yo. You’ll get a ton of mileage (pun intended! wakka wakka!) from buying yourself a gift like this. Sock: always badass, always worth it.

(Photo By:Trinity)