Oh, but the world is cruel. For a brief shining moment, we reveled in the light of boundless possibility: Megan Fox had finally ditched David Silver Brian Austin Green, and nerds the world over were free to dream of how they would trick the Transformers goddess into touching their beanbags.
But those days of carefree reverie are over. As Star Magazine reports, the couple have been having regular post-breakup “sexy sleepovers.” There’s no need to patronize us with your euphemisms, Star. We know what that means. We know he’s been putting his sweaty meathooks all over her… special areas. Of course, this doesn’t mean the engagement is back on, necessarily, but come on. He’s on Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles, and she’s in the Transformer films. They share a bond of murderous rage against evil robots. I only have a strong distaste for them, so I really can’t compete with that.
And then yesterday Fox and Green were photographed shopping together. Oh, Megan. I would have taken you shopping. I mean, there’s a TJ Maxx right down the street from my place, then off to the Burger King, where I totally would have bought you the large combo meal if you asked for it. But no dessert, I’m not a goddamned bank.
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