Top 5 Most Pretentious Coffee Table Books

By Ned Hepburn on March 4th, 2009

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5. Terryworld
Terryworld is a great photography book, chronicling photographer Terry Richardson’s many photo shoots in no particular order. It’s the kind of thing that you’d see at any hipster loft you were going to go to in Brooklyn or whatever. Sadly, God forbid your mom ever comes over. That’s the worst part about being a city dwelling 20-something: for the first time in your life you can have porn on open display that you will always, always forget, when you have parent coming over. Hope your mom likes pictures of wangs on every 13 pages or so.

4. David LaChappelle
Anything by David LaChappelle. I mean, don’t get me wrong. He’s a great photographer. But if you have one of his books on display in a “hey, look what I got” manner, you need to do some research. Everyone likes David LaChappele.

This is the coffee table book equivalent of being the guy at the concert with the bands shirt on.


 

 
3. The Coffee Table Book Coffee Table Book
 Yes its The Coffee Table Book Coffee Table Book. Dont be “that guy”. Yeah, it was a good episode of Seinfeld, but let it go, dude. The 90’s are over. Yeah, we all had a good laugh.

Let’s get you some water.

2. Thomas Kinkade
The Thomas Kinkade Coffee Table Book(s). The “master of light” and “assaulter of eyes” Thomas Kinkade has a vast array of coffee table “books”. You should not, under any circumstances, buy them for anybody. Even your Grandma. Grandma’s don’t like stuff like this: they miss the good ol’ days of swearing and whiskey.

Get her some whiskey instead.

1. G.O.A.T.
G.O.A.T. weighs in at a staggering 50lbs, and measures 20″ x 20″. This thing could double AS a coffee table. Despite the horrible name (it sounds like ‘Goat’, you dumbass publishers, no matter which way you slice it) it’s a superb read if you’re into every printed thing about Mohammed Ali ever written. Maybe you want to read something else while you’re drinking your coffee. I don’t know. Also this thing costs around $1,200. The “special edition” is nearly five grand. You’d be kind of a tool to buy this, but if you ever see one around, its fun to pretend you are a tiny person looking through a normal sized book.

(Photo of Coffee Table By:Devil.Bunny)