For centuries man has grappled with the existentialist question of the possibility of a device that would wake him in the morning and wake him up so badly that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Now, such a device has not yet been invented but periodically we do get to hear of crazy alarm devices.
Alarms like the Run Away and Hide Alarm, Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock, or the Laser Target Alarm Clock have all been designed to make it difficult for the inveterate snoozer to switch them off and go back to sleep.
Following these illustrious inventions, which have surely contributed to improving employee attendance records if not their productivity, comes a refined alarm clock – the flying alarm clock. When the alarm rings a helicopter with the key to shut off the alarm escapes. And then the only way to shut off the alarm is to leave the bed and go chopper hunting. Of course there’s another way too. Smash the alarm but that’s a little like a self-respecting man conceding defeat to a puny gadget. Speaking for myself, I’d readily sacrifice the already nominal notions of self-respect that I have for the “ten minutes more” of early morning sleep. All said and done, technology is succeeding and the late sleeper is fast becoming an endangered species.
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