Megan Fox Is F**king Single

Dudes.

It has happened. This is our cultural zenith. Where were YOU when you found out Megan Fox became single? For me, I was standing in line at Cinnabons, deciding which delicious treat I would purchase, when suddenly I heard a loud bang. That bang was followed by what seemed like a hundred popcorn kernels popping. This was the sound of every man in the ten block radius getting a boner at the same time. I know, I know, sounds weird right?

Megan Fox – star of Transformers and… uh… Transformers 2… and not much else – is single. She broke up with her old man boyfriend Brian Austin Green. I can already hear you asking: who? The guy was on the original 90210. Yes, I know. That’s how LA works. Apparently if you were in a TV show in the early 90’s you can date Megan Fox. So, Screech from Saved By The Bell better keep his date-book open.

The Tennessee raised screen fox and her former beau have tattoos of each others names, which would be badass if your name was, like, Awesome Badass Who Is Great, but if you’re going to get with Megan this weekend keep an eye out for the “B.A.G.” tattoo. Poor thing. I wonder if she can pull a Johnny Depp and change it to something else.

She’s due back on the big screen this fall for Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen, where she will be aiding the good robots and escaping the bad ones (at least that’s what I gather will happen). The film is produced by Michael Bay who you probably know from various “exploding and yelling” epics as Pearl Harbor, The Rock, and lets not forget the buddy cop piece-du-resistance that was Bad Boys 2. She appears alongside Shia Lebeouf who, I’m sure, will bumble along doing and saying things that will make Megan Fox seem all the more foxy.

A checklist of Fox-iness:

• Megan really likes Marilyn Monroe, so if you want to get “in” with her, be sure to bring up anything in Marilyn’s body of work. Not that you’ll even get into the same bars as her.
• Check out photos of Megan in her screamingly hot photo shoot with heavyweight photographer Terry Richardson here.
• Be sure to track down one of the 5 other non Transformers related things she’s been in, such as her brief stint on Two and a Half Men.

And there you have it. That should work, so get out there with those bouquets and boxes of chocolates, people. It’s Fox season.