Glass Pool Table, If Nothing Else, Will Get You Friends

By Ned Hepburn on February 24th, 2009

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This is a a glass pool table. If it does not get you laid, I’m not sure what will. It will perfectley compliment your white cat, shark tank, and diamond encrusted walking stick. If, in fact, you do not get laid, you get all of your money back PLUS a last-ditch effort from the company in having midget porn star Bridget The Midget come over to your house and dance to “Tiny Dancer” as she drinks gregarious amounts of Belvedere vodka from your refrigerator.

If that does not get you laid, then you are S.O.L, my friend. Oh, it will cost you about $25,000. Your grandchildren will hate you. Alan Greenspan will, if he sees you, punch you directly in the face. But think about the wild parties you’ll have! Think about the game of pool you’ll have with all your rad new friends! You’ll even have hangers-on! They’ll love you! Think about it: real friends. Not the online kind. The Real Deal™. Real friends. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t have to keep going back on Twitter to see if Olivia Munn has updated her status.

Check out more on the Glass Pool Table.