Like most of America, I have a boner for the new Watchmen movie. Yup. I am so excited to see it, I have a boner.
Thankfully, somebody somewhere went ahead and made the Watchmen Promotional Condom. It’s colored blue, so you can pretend you’re just like Dr. Manhattan! Or at least you can pretend your weiner is the same as his. And if you’re doing that, there’s a whole lot of other things you should be worried about because you’re obviously mentally unhinged.
The condom has the punny inscription “We’re Society’s Only Protection”, which some other blogs don’t find funny, but fuck it, when you’ve already colored the condom blue you’ve already opened the door to a million other jokes. Maybe you want to get some Smurf action going. Maybe Smurfette is behind on her rent and you’re Papa Smurf. Or maybe you’re an Inuit. Trust me: I’ve been waiting for an excuse to use a “Smurf Boner” joke for, like, ever.
Needless to say, I’m pretty sure these will become at least some sort of a collectors item. They’ve been giving them out at clubs in the major cities and also a few record stores if you’re so inclined to pick up a few.
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