“First of all… how good lookin’ is my wife?” said Barack Obama at his Inauguration Ball.
NO WAY, DUDE. It’s not like we didn’t figure that out when she looked totes banging during the nomination. Or even in all those paparazzi pictures. Or even, I don’t know, every waking moment of this planet. There’s a lot of “mothers of two” out there who look more haggard than a wolverine eating beef jerky, yet Michelle carries it off with more aplomb than any other first lady.
Not since the Kennedy’s has a First Lady been so banging. Laura Bush looked like a Norman Rockwell painting on acid; Hilary Clinton was too obsessed with the pantsuits and “The Realtor Haircut”. But Michelle? Sweet tapdancing Jesus. You KNOW she has that one Fugees album which she bumps when no-ones around. You KNOW she’s probably seen (and enjoyed) The Wire. In fact, I wouldn’t be suprised if she smoked a doob with Lil Wayne on the cover of XXL next month. She’s a total babe.
I’m sure over the coming years she will get a million no-handed salutes, because she is just that kinda bangin’. I kinda want to be her, and I’m a dude. She’s so confident. It sucks being white now. I mean, white people had a good run, didn’t we? We’ve still got Woody Allen, PBS, and country music. Sigh.
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