We really shoulda seen this coming, here’s why:
5. Lil Wayne
Dude listened to Lil Wayne before swimming. I listen to Lil Wayne while in the drive through at In-N-Out Burger. Same difference.
4. No Sense of Dress Codes
Dude wore shorts and a baseball cap when he met Vogue editor Anna Wintour. Dude, if you’re going to meet with the editor of Vogue why didn’t you at least throw down on at the very least a tuxedo t-shirt?
3. Cliche Asian Girlfriend
Not that I care, but dude is dating an Asian cocktail waitress. So let me get this straight: dude listens to Lil Wayne, swims for a living, and is dating a half-Asian cocktail waitress? That sounds like every stoners dream life.
2. The Sandals
Dude wears sandals in public. Want to learn something? Only stoners wear sandals. I picked this tip up in college: you could find weed by asking any dude with sandals “Hey, where can you buy weed?”. This holds true in post-college life: no grown man should wear sandals unless a) they smoke a ton of pot or b) its summer or c) they are Cool Dads™ who “really like to barbecue”.
1. A Photo of Him Playing the Flute de Devils Lettuce
Oh yeah! THIS PICTURE. The one where he’s smoking weed! Thanks, News Of The World!