Miss America 2009 was crowned yesterday. Yeah. I KNOW. How could you miss our ambassador to the rest of the world being elected on national television? Shouldn’t this be an event? Were we all too burned out on Obama being elected to notice a huuuuge historic event like this?
Apparently we were. The saddest part is, her name sounds like some tragic character in a Garrison Keiller monologue. Katie Stam, a 22 year old student from Indiana, beat off 51 other Misses to win the crown and adoration of prison inmates everywhere. Her win was a triumph due to her obvious radiance, knowledge of “things”, and simple embodiment of the American candor the rest of the world has come to know and love. What could be more American than judging someone on a numerical scale? And with swimsuits. Yes. Swimsuits.
This competition is the pinnacle of the American dream as she will spend the next year of her so-called life travelling this great nation giving talks and speechy things, laughing at all the pretty colors, giggling at the bright lights. Nary a sad thought shall pass through her head. Nary a thought at all.
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s wilson
January 31st, 2009 - 9:37:18 AM
this guy's funny!
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