Sparks, that dastardly combination of alcohol and legal speed, is sadly being discontinued as of Jan 1st 2009, Miller Coors Corp announced today. Fifteen year old kids who play X-Box are “super mega” pissed, and 22 year old hipsters who are too scared to actually take real drugs are “totally bummed”.
I’ve had many personal experiences with Sparks over the years. If you never got the pleasure of actually trying one, it was like the caffeine of three red bulls all while tasting like a weird mixture of orange soda and vodka. It also gave you “Sparks tongue”, because it made your tongue bright orange. The caffeine was a stimulant while the alcohol acted as a depressant, and you got super drunk very fast because you kept wanting to drink more.
It truly was a very rough drink to get drunk on, but when you’re bored in the Midwest and underage what are you gonna do now? Meth? At least this came in a can that looked like how it tasted: a battery.
Say Goodbye to Sparks | NBC Washington
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